Vanished

A poem written to honor the upcoming 1st anniversary

of the homegoing of my sweet mom:

My sweet, sweet mom,

A year ago you breathed your last.

Ever still I miss your smile

And long for moments past.

Plunged into depths of sorrow

When you vanished from this place,

I've endured each new tomorrow

Without the beauty of your face.

My every breath is marked with pain

Like thorns crammed in my chest,

And happiness I cannot feign

Since you've been laid to rest.

With quiet desperation

I take on each new day.

Scarred by separation

From my mom who could not stay.

I wonder how I will survive

A lifetime with this ache,

But thankful that you live and thrive;

True life, death could not take.

My precious mom, you disappeared.

12 months have vanished too

My heart is deeply, deeply seared

And now begins year two.

But someday, all these hurts will clear

I'll embrace your frame anew.

This painful life will disappear,

Your face again in view.

FRAYED

I would describe myself as an emotional wreck the last couple weeks. I feel as though this gnawing sorrow is causing me to fray, like a rope that is falling apart, my grief has worn me thin. My edges are ragged and any little thing can cause my emotions to give way.My soul is threadbare. After a day of being frazzled and tattered from lament, feeling as though I have been unable to keep it together recently, I found a stack of cards with verses given to me by some friends from church. I decided to peruse the stack. This was the first card I read:






The previous verse in that Colossians passage describes how ALL things were created by Him, through Him, and for Him-everything! Therefore, the Lord holds it all together; even my life, my soul, and my world are upheld by Him.This does not mean I won't be in emotional turmoil. This does not mean I won't be worn thin by my loss. This does not mean that I will never feel like I am falling apart. But it is a promise that God will sustain me and hold all things together, even when I am significantly frayed.

Christmas In Heaven

A friend sent me this beautiful poem and thought I'd share it with all of you. We have had a few difficult Christmases and this year is by far the most difficult! I am deeply missing my mom, and my grandma, and my soul aches with the void that they have left, but when I read this poem I felt a glimmer of peace inside, I hope that it will be as healing for some of you as it has been for me!

Christmas In Heaven

by Wanda Bencke

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,with tiny lights like Heaven's stars reflecting in the snow. The sight is so spectacular
please wipe away that tear, for I am spending CHRISTMAS
WITH JESUS CHRIST this year. I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear but the sound of music can't compare
with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here. I have no words to tell you
of the JOY their voices bring, for it is beyond description
to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.
I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart, for I am spending CHRISTMAS
WITH JESUS CHRIST this year. I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR
or the PEACE here in this place, can you just imagine CHRISTMAS
WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face! I'll ask Him to lift your spirit
as I tell Him of your love, so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER
as you lift your eyes above! Please let your hearts be joyful
and let your spirit sing, for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN
and I’m walking WITH THE KING!

A Christmas gift for you!!

God's gift of love... became our gift of life!

Celebrating the gift of Jesus with you this christmas.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16 KJV

Reflections

Various people at my friends church were asked to write reflections about a specific name given to Jesus and to read them at their Christmas Eve service. I decided to try and do that myself, I chose to reflect on the name given to Him...The Amen! I thought that I would post it here.

The Amen

What child is this? He is called "The Amen". Amen is a word that often rolls off our tongues as the punctuation to our prayers. It is used to enthusiastically express agreement, and it speaks to that which is approved, right, and true. But most of all, it is perfectly epitomized in the character of our Lord. Revelation 3 says that this babe, Jesus Christ, is "The Amen". He is the personification of all that is true.

Jesus is the ultimate punctuation, the exclamation point leading to redemption for this imperfect world. He is the climax and the final Word to all of God's promises. He is the fulfillment of God's oath to us, His beloved children.

But what does this mean to my broken heart? What does this mean to my body that yearns to hug my beautiful mom again? What does this mean to a soul scarred by the evil in this world? What does this mean to a mind plagued with experiences of suffering? What does this child, "The Amen," mean for you and me?

In brokenness, He is all that is whole. When our strength fails, His power is perfect. When surrounded by evil, He is all that is good. Plagued with suffering, He is our assurance of hope.

I do not understand His ways, and even feel wounded by them. I cannot comprehend His plans, and often find them to be painful. I am baffled by some of His decisions, and even long for them to be different...

but there is one clear exception...

His decision, as the Bright Morning Star, to humble Himself by coming to earth and living as the very Word of God among us. He allowed Himself, a spotless Lamb, to be shamefully slaughtered for our sake. And in His conquering of death, He has given us access to the Kingdom, to genuine Hope, the Hope to which I cling. Therefore, this little child Jesus is the realization of all God's promises to us. "The Amen"!

Jesus is all that is sure. He is our only certainty in this shifting, unstable, fractured world. He is the source of everything true. He is firm and faithful, worthy of our loyalty and trust. Thus, He has aptly conferred the title of "Amen" upon Himself; the "Yes", the "So Be It", and the "Truly, Truly" of all God has done and will do.

I am challenged to consider, as each "amen" concludes my conversations of prayer, that I am actually invoking the very name of the One to whom I pray -- the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. I am affirming His role as the faithful and true witness and giving glory to Him who is, in fact, God incarnate.

Hallelujah! This child has come! Amen to the "Amen"!

31-DERFUL BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!

We want to send birthday wishes to Melissa, (aka Auntie Mel) on her 31st birthday!! We hope that you have a great birthday and that you get all that you wish for!!

You're Invited!!

Hopefully, you've all rec'd your invites to our holiday party!

CLICK ON THE INVITE FOR MORE DETAILS!!

Last year was a hard Christmas for us, and it was JT's 1st Christmas, but it was less than ideal, so, we decided to throw a Christmas party to celebrate family, and friends, and those we love and miss dearly.

Come at 6 or whenever you can, and stay as long as you like!

Contact us for more info, and don't forget to bring a toy to donate for a kid this Christmas!

See you there!!!

Christmastime!

Just a few snapshots of some of the decor, both old and new here at our house.

For a better view of the collage, just click on any picture and it will enlarge the whole collage!

Missing you... (By Melissa)

Today is the 3rd anniversary( for lack of a better word) of the day that Grandma Sadie passed from this world and into the arms of our precious Heavenly Father. Life has gone on in many ways around here, but there is always that place in our hearts and minds that remembers Grandma.

For those of you who knew her, she was a force to be reckoned with, strong, blunt, unafraid, and yet soft and loving and full of love for those around her, one of a kind for sure!

I'm often struck at just how many time a day, even now, that I feel her with me, or just how often I say things that sound like her, or do things just like her, it's amazing to me just how deeply embedded she is in my being.

I've been thinking of just how much she meant to all of us, and just how much she affected the lives of those around her. I wanted to make sure that although this day, signifies to us here, the end of her life with us, that I didn't get bogged down in the sadness of it all, but that I remembered that not only is she in a better place now, but that I should try and make this day a celebration or reflection of her life here with us. I feel like if I turn this day into a day that commemorates her amazing life then I am honoring her more than if I cried buckets of tears for her...and don't get me wrong, I do cry and miss her all the time, but I want to find the balance between those.

I think part of the sadness comes because this time of year we feel more connected to family, and loved ones, and so when we focus on the fact that a loved one isn't with us, it makes it all the more sad...grief is hard.

So I want to dedicate this day, to one of the most lovable, funny, sweet, forgiving, special, AMAZING people that I've ever known, my grandma, Sadie Shedd.

Grandma, though you are no longer here with us your spirit remains tucked inside of all those that you touched with your life. You have shaped and guided so many of us, you have shown us the meaning of un-conditional love, you have cheered us up, you have helped us when we failed, and you have prayed with us and for all the days of your life, and we are forever blessed because we had you in our lives! Thank you for always loving us, even when we didn't deserve it! May we honor your life, your sacrifices, and your memory with our lives. May we continue to strive for the dreams and goals that you had for this family and for each of us in particular, and may we never forget just how lucky and blessed we truly are!

So, on this 9th day of December, a day that for this family holds such bittersweet meaning, I challenge us all to honor the memory of our loved ones, by doing something that would 've made them smile, by being an example of love to others, or even by just celebrating traditions that they taught you....turn your sadness into an attitude of gratefulness for their life and for yours!

Congratulations Dave!!

We want to send out our congratulations to Dave Mc Entarffer, (aka Tio Dave), on his graduation from the Fire Training Academy this weekend! We are so proud of all your hard work, and we know that you have a great career ahead of you!! Congrats!!

Updates are here...

We have begun to publish the posts from the past 2 months, they will be all up by Saturday night. They go in order of the date they happened, so you may need to scroll backwards down the blog to see them. We try and keep the blog in chronological order, it's easier for us that way. Happy reading!

We're back!!!!!

A big "THANK YOU", to the best brother-in-law, Rich, who took time out of his busy schedule to come and fix our sad, broken computer, while he was here in L.A. for business. Thank you so much, for spending all those hours fixing the fan and updating the software...and all that other stuff, it was so wonderful of you, we could never thank you enough!
So now that we're back up and running again, expect to see new updates real soon, and hopefully we'll be all caught up by the end of the weekend or so...at least that's the plan!

Thanksgiving Celebrations

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!! This year we celebrated with 2 Thanksgiving meals, one here at home lovingly prepared by Melissa, who learned expertly from Mary and Grandma Sadie. We had lots of turkey and all the trimmings, and JT just loved to eat stuffing and cranberry sauce ,it was so cute!! We took our traditional holiday pics in the front yard, and then we were off to our next meal!!

Our second dinner took place at Sarah's mom, Kathy's, home. She prepared a wonderful feast and Sarah's Papa, made a yummy cheesecake for dessert. Kathy invited the whole Huckeba family, and we had such a lovely time.Sarah's uncle, cousin and Nana and Papa were all there, and we watched a holiday movie, but mostly we watched JT run around and get into everything! When all was said and done we drove our very fat tummy's home and relaxed and waited for the turkey-induced coma to set in! I think we'll have lots of meals with turkey in them in the days to come, but we also have about 3 different desserts to eat up as well!! We had such a nice Thanksgiving...now it's time to get ready for Christmas!

(below) our table set for dinner

JT eats his Thanksgiving meal!

(below) The family photos!

Auntie Mel and JT hang out with a scarecrow!

More family pics!

(below) Nana and Papa and JT relax together.

Grammie Kathy and JT read a book before dinner.

Being Thankful

I have sat here, wondering what to write...it's Thanksgiving... a time to be thankful.

In church we talked about being thankful and our Pastor mentioned things that were going on in the world and how life is pretty tough for lots of people...we can choose look at the poor economy, the war in Iraq, the elections, and the impact and divisions it made in America...

Some have had a loss in their family,the loss of a job, a home foreclosure, a divorce, illness, etc.whatever it may be, it could be a hard thing for some to feel 'thankful'.

As I sat and listened to Pastor Don I was reminded of the goodness that there is in life. We can't focus simply on what is wrong in our lives, or the discomfort we may feel when things aren't how they "ought to be", it's all about finding the goodness in life!. Finding hope, finding peace, finding love, finding that in all things it is so important to keep our eyes on Him. God is there to help guide us, to nurture us, to give us strength, we are so thankful, there are so many blessings in life. So, our hope is that Thanksgiving becomes a season, and not just a day. Try and think of things through out each day that you can be grateful for... our liberty, our freedom, family, friends.
Whatever it may be, we hope God touches your life and blesses you with His love and grace and extends His mercy on you.

With thankful hearts,

The Huckeba Family

Just a little CAT NAP!

This was just the cutest thing, we went to check on JT during nap time and found Mr. Brightside snoozing along with him! Auntie Mel snapped a quick pic, and then let the two sleepy-heads finish up their nap! It was just too cute for words!

A ranch and some fires!!!

This year our church has decided that instead of our youth girls going to summer camp with all the other churches in our area, that we are going to go to a private camp on our own. We're hoping that this will give our girls and us leaders more time to bond and build relationships with our girls. Oftentimes when we go to girls youth camp there are so many other churches and girls there that we don't really get the chance to connect with our own girls, because they are so busy and scattered. We are hoping that going to this camp will give us more one-on-one time together! So on November 15th Pastor Denise (our Children's Pastor), Bonnie (our Missionette's coordinator),Miss Eddy, and myself headed out to Calicinto Ranch in San Jacinto, Ca. Calicinto Ranch is a private, Christian camp that caters to groups of all size. They have horses, and hiking trails, and all kinds of country themed activities. It is so beautiful out there and it only took us an hour and a half to get there. We all loved it and decided right then and there that this is the camp that we want to take our girls to. So, be praying for us as we get ready for our camp in July of 2009, it's $200 a girl, and we will be doing fundraisers to help the girls raise the money to pay for camp!

(below) the cabins, and a view of the cross @ the top of the mountain

The cute little general store!!

P.S. if you are interested in taking a group to Calicinto Ranch, or you just want to know more about this great place check out....www.calicintoranch.com

P.S. This is also the day that ALL the big wildfires started, we were almost in the path of 3 different ones, we barely made it off the freeways before they started shutting them down, the sky was heavy with smoke and ash, and we send our prayers and best wishes out to all those affected by the fires. We know many people in and around the areas that are on fire, and our hearts go out to them and to the brave firefighters and other disaster personnel.

Here are some photos from our local area showing just how close and how bad the fires are!

Salad is Yum-o!

So the other day, Melissa was making dinner and she had made this nice salad, and we were eating some, and JT just kept pointing at it and saying that he wanted that salad. He points to his tray on his highchair and indicates that he wants you to out whatever he is desiring right on the tray where he is pointing, or he'll say more, or mine , in any case Sarah, decided that he could have some, and we put it in his bowl, but of course he wanted the salad in Auntie Mel's bowl, so, Melissa poured the salad she wanted into another bowl and gave JT her big-person bowl and he happily ate that salad all gone!!! He even had to use a "real", fork not one of the plastic toddler ones! He loved it, and he loved the 1000 Island dressing too!

(below) Baby's 1st real salad...I love salad!!!

It's Election Day!!! (By Melissa)

So today is election day, and that's a big deal in this house! We will all be voting, and JT will wear proudly his I voted sticker!! I will be making a nice dinner and then I will be watching the news channels carefully for the next 24-36 hours...this is my Super Bowl, and I love it!!!

I won't bore you with a history of politics, or try to go over all the propositions with you one last time, I mean come on, you should know what you're doing by now...call me if you don't, but anyways, I will remind you to VOTE!!! I don't know how many people I reminded to register this year, and how many times I debated the merits of all the props, or how many commercials I sat through , but this is election day people, there's history to be made!! It doesn't matter to me who you are voting for, that's a whole different discussion, I am just wanting to make sure that you do vote, period, the end!!!

I know I talk a lot about the privilege to vote but it's true, and ladies, we really ought to be out there voting, since it was only a short while ago that we were not able to vote in this country.

So, on the election day, when many things will be decided I want to encourage you to go and be a part of history, not just America's history, but your own personal history, start getting involved, and make a difference...change the world, even if it's just your own little piece of the world, do something, stand for something, believe in something...let the change begin now, and let it begin with you!!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween everyone...this year JT is old enough to actually kinda go trick or treating, so Scott and Sarah bought him the cutest little pumpkin costume to wear. He liked it when he tried it on a few days before Halloween, but when he went to put it on that day, well, let's just say he had a small meltdown...not to worry, he eventually did put it on and they took him to his G.G. Vanderpool's house and to his Nana and Papa's house , and then back home where Melissa's church was passing out candy, hot cocoa, and donuts. He walked around outside with all the kids, and then it was off to bed. He had a fun time and he even got to eat a piece of candy!

(below) The cutest little pumpkin ever!!

(below)Hanging out with Nicky on Halloween.

(below) Last year @ Halloween,

how time flies!!!

Happy Birthday Scott!

Just wanted to send happy birthday wishes to Scott, who turns 27 today!
We don't have a birthday picture because he isn't all that camera friendly!
Also, we don't have the traditional Happy Birthday sign, because JT was sick.
In any case, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOTT, have a great one!!!

JT's 1st haircut!

Today Scott and Sarah decided that it was time for JT to have his first haircut! JT has big curls on the back of his head an they are hard to control, and get tangles easily. So, off to the barbers they went. They went to a barber shop owned by the dad of a buddy of Scott's back from little league days..in fact the guy was once Scott's coach. Anyway, JT sat on Sarah's lap and got his haircut, he didn't seem to mind it at all. Scott taped the whole thing and JT loved watching later on that afternoon. Now that they cut off all his curls he looks like a little boy, not a baby anymore!!

Big boy haircut with no curls!!

Happy Birthday Grandpa Mike

We want to wish Sarah's dad, Mike (aka Grandpa Mike) a very happy birthday!

The Spaghetti-o incident!

Sarah bought JT some Spaghetti-o's to see if he liked them as much as she does. Well, he seemed to like them and he wanted to feed himself, so she let him do it and it was going great and so she decided to go and get a bath ready for him since he needed one and Auntie Mel came and supervised the end of dinnertime. Everything was just fine he was a little messy, but that's to be expected, then all in one second he was crying, screaming...he had poured the bowl on his head and it was running down his face and into his eyes...Auntie Mel snapped a quick pic and then helped Sarah clean him up...but it was a huge mess!

P.S. Spaghetti-o's stain the skin so you really have to scrub a lot with soap, so you don't end up with an orange baby!

SORRY!

Some of you have asked, what's going on with the blog....well, we have been having computer problems, and we thought that it was a fan issue, but now we think otherwise, so please be patient with us and the computer, and we will be back to blogging soon...sooo much to post, and just as soon as we can get the geek squad here, we will be up and running again...see you soon!!

Bubba Bath!!

JT loves to take bubble baths, which Auntie Mel calls, Bubba baths, because she calls JT, Bubba. Well, whenever its time for JT to take a bath Auntie Mel will say, lets take a Bubba Bath, and JT will say, Bub Bath...we think its cute..anyway, here's some pics of JT in a Bubba Bath!!

It's pumpkin patch time!!

Today we decided to take JT to the pumpkin patch to pick out his very 1st pumpkin...last year he was only 3 months old so he didn't really get into the whole pumpkin thing, but this year he was ready for the pumpkin patch. We went to one over in Brea, they had lots of pumpkins to play with, and it was hard to decide which one he wanted. Mostly he ran around trying to pick them up and then wanting to throw them down! This very sweet little girl, maybe 3 or 4 years old came right up to JT and they gave each other a hug, she walked back to her family and JT promptly walked over to her and socked her in the belly, she cried, and Scott and Sarah apologized to the family, but they understood. But JT finally decided on a pumpkin and we got it for him, he seemed to have fun, and it was a nice little trip for us all, we hope to make this a family tradition!

(below)JT plays with all the pumpkins

Sarah, JT and the Scarecrow smile for the camera

(below) The little girl JT hugged then punched!

Look Auntie Mel, I want this pumpkin, maybe we can push it home!!

JT picking up the pumpkin and trying to run away with it!!

A day at the park!

Today we decided to take a little trip to the local park and petting zoo, Parnell Park, for those of you who live around here. JT was super excited to go, and he really loved the few animals that were there at the petting zoo...they has some very cute animals and this huge tortoise that seemed to follow Sarah all around the zoo, it was strange! JT went on the swings and loved them, and then took a few trips down the baby slides, and then just basically tried to run away from us...that made us tired, so after one more quick stop back at the petting zoo, to say adios to the animals it was back home for nap time...although to tell you the truth I think we needed the nap more than he did!

(below)JT and the baby goat....the huge tortoise the LOVED Sarah.

(below)The loudest, most annoying goose ever.

The sweet mama goat.

(below) Sarah pushes JT on the swings....

Big boy wants to do it all by himself.

(below) JT laughing on the swings.

He REALLY LOVED the swings!!