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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Vanished

A poem written to honor the upcoming 1st anniversary

of the homegoing of my sweet mom:






My sweet, sweet mom,
A year ago you breathed your last.
Ever still I miss your smile
And long for moments past.

Plunged into depths of sorrow
When you vanished from this place,
I've endured each new tomorrow
Without the beauty of your face.

My every breath is marked with pain
Like thorns crammed in my chest,
And happiness I cannot feign
Since you've been laid to rest.

With quiet desperation
I take on each new day.
Scarred by separation
From my mom who could not stay.

I wonder how I will survive
A lifetime with this ache,
But thankful that you live and thrive;
True life, death could not take.

My precious mom, you disappeared.
12 months have vanished too
My heart is deeply, deeply seared
And now begins year two.

But someday, all these hurts will clear
I'll embrace your frame anew.
This painful life will disappear,
Your face again in view.

Friday, December 26, 2008

FRAYED


I would describe myself as an emotional wreck the last couple weeks. I feel as though this gnawing sorrow is causing me to fray, like a rope that is falling apart, my grief has worn me thin. My edges are ragged and any little thing can cause my emotions to give way.My soul is threadbare. After a day of being frazzled and tattered from lament, feeling as though I have been unable to keep it together recently, I found a stack of cards with verses given to me by some friends from church. I decided to peruse the stack. This was the first card I read:






The previous verse in that Colossians passage describes how ALL things were created by Him, through Him, and for Him-everything! Therefore, the Lord holds it all together; even my life, my soul, and my world are upheld by Him.This does not mean I won't be in emotional turmoil. This does not mean I won't be worn thin by my loss. This does not mean that I will never feel like I am falling apart. But it is a promise that God will sustain me and hold all things together, even when I am significantly frayed.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas In Heaven


A friend sent me this beautiful poem and thought I'd share it with all of you. We have had a few difficult Christmases and this year is by far the most difficult! I am deeply missing my mom, and my grandma, and my soul aches with the void that they have left, but when I read this poem I felt a glimmer of peace inside, I hope that it will be as healing for some of you as it has been for me!



Christmas In Heaven

by Wanda Bencke


I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,with tiny lights like Heaven's stars reflecting in the snow. The sight is so spectacular
please wipe away that tear, for I am spending CHRISTMAS
WITH JESUS CHRIST this year. I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear but the sound of music can't compare
with the CHRISTMAS CHOIR up here. I have no words to tell you
of the JOY their voices bring, for it is beyond description
to HEAR THE ANGELS SING.
I know how much you miss me,
I see the pain inside your heart, for I am spending CHRISTMAS
WITH JESUS CHRIST this year. I can't tell you of the SPLENDOR
or the PEACE here in this place, can you just imagine CHRISTMAS
WITH OUR SAVIOR face to face! I'll ask Him to lift your spirit
as I tell Him of your love, so then PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER
as you lift your eyes above! Please let your hearts be joyful
and let your spirit sing, for I am spending CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN
and I’m walking WITH THE KING!

A Christmas gift for you!!


God's gift of love... became our gift of life!
Celebrating the gift of Jesus with you this christmas.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16 KJV

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Reflections


Various people at my friends church were asked to write reflections about a specific name given to Jesus and to read them at their Christmas Eve service. I decided to try and do that myself, I chose to reflect on the name given to Him...The Amen! I thought that I would post it here.

The Amen

What child is this? He is called "The Amen". Amen is a word that often rolls off our tongues as the punctuation to our prayers. It is used to enthusiastically express agreement, and it speaks to that which is approved, right, and true. But most of all, it is perfectly epitomized in the character of our Lord. Revelation 3 says that this babe, Jesus Christ, is "The Amen". He is the personification of all that is true.

Jesus is the ultimate punctuation, the exclamation point leading to redemption for this imperfect world. He is the climax and the final Word to all of God's promises. He is the fulfillment of God's oath to us, His beloved children.

But what does this mean to my broken heart? What does this mean to my body that yearns to hug my beautiful mom again? What does this mean to a soul scarred by the evil in this world? What does this mean to a mind plagued with experiences of suffering? What does this child, "The Amen," mean for you and me?

In brokenness, He is all that is whole. When our strength fails, His power is perfect. When surrounded by evil, He is all that is good. Plagued with suffering, He is our assurance of hope.

I do not understand His ways, and even feel wounded by them. I cannot comprehend His plans, and often find them to be painful. I am baffled by some of His decisions, and even long for them to be different...

but there is one clear exception...

His decision, as the Bright Morning Star, to humble Himself by coming to earth and living as the very Word of God among us. He allowed Himself, a spotless Lamb, to be shamefully slaughtered for our sake. And in His conquering of death, He has given us access to the Kingdom, to genuine Hope, the Hope to which I cling. Therefore, this little child Jesus is the realization of all God's promises to us. "The Amen"!

Jesus is all that is sure. He is our only certainty in this shifting, unstable, fractured world. He is the source of everything true. He is firm and faithful, worthy of our loyalty and trust. Thus, He has aptly conferred the title of "Amen" upon Himself; the "Yes", the "So Be It", and the "Truly, Truly" of all God has done and will do.

I am challenged to consider, as each "amen" concludes my conversations of prayer, that I am actually invoking the very name of the One to whom I pray -- the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. I am affirming His role as the faithful and true witness and giving glory to Him who is, in fact, God incarnate.

Hallelujah! This child has come! Amen to the "Amen"!

Friday, December 19, 2008

31-DERFUL BIRTHDAY WISHES!!!

We want to send birthday wishes to Melissa, (aka Auntie Mel) on her 31st birthday!! We hope that you have a great birthday and that you get all that you wish for!!

Monday, December 15, 2008

You're Invited!!

Hopefully, you've all rec'd your invites to our holiday party!
CLICK ON THE INVITE FOR MORE DETAILS!!
Last year was a hard Christmas for us, and it was JT's 1st Christmas, but it was less than ideal, so, we decided to throw a Christmas party to celebrate family, and friends, and those we love and miss dearly.
Come at 6 or whenever you can, and stay as long as you like!
Contact us for more info, and don't forget to bring a toy to donate for a kid this Christmas!
See you there!!!
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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Christmastime!

Just a few snapshots of some of the decor, both old and new here at our house.
For a better view of the collage, just click on any picture and it will enlarge the whole collage!
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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Missing you... (By Melissa)


Today is the 3rd anniversary( for lack of a better word) of the day that Grandma Sadie passed from this world and into the arms of our precious Heavenly Father. Life has gone on in many ways around here, but there is always that place in our hearts and minds that remembers Grandma.

For those of you who knew her, she was a force to be reckoned with, strong, blunt, unafraid, and yet soft and loving and full of love for those around her, one of a kind for sure!

I'm often struck at just how many time a day, even now, that I feel her with me, or just how often I say things that sound like her, or do things just like her, it's amazing to me just how deeply embedded she is in my being.

I've been thinking of just how much she meant to all of us, and just how much she affected the lives of those around her. I wanted to make sure that although this day, signifies to us here, the end of her life with us, that I didn't get bogged down in the sadness of it all, but that I remembered that not only is she in a better place now, but that I should try and make this day a celebration or reflection of her life here with us. I feel like if I turn this day into a day that commemorates her amazing life then I am honoring her more than if I cried buckets of tears for her...and don't get me wrong, I do cry and miss her all the time, but I want to find the balance between those.

I think part of the sadness comes because this time of year we feel more connected to family, and loved ones, and so when we focus on the fact that a loved one isn't with us, it makes it all the more sad...grief is hard.

So I want to dedicate this day, to one of the most lovable, funny, sweet, forgiving, special, AMAZING people that I've ever known, my grandma, Sadie Shedd.

Grandma, though you are no longer here with us your spirit remains tucked inside of all those that you touched with your life. You have shaped and guided so many of us, you have shown us the meaning of un-conditional love, you have cheered us up, you have helped us when we failed, and you have prayed with us and for all the days of your life, and we are forever blessed because we had you in our lives! Thank you for always loving us, even when we didn't deserve it! May we honor your life, your sacrifices, and your memory with our lives. May we continue to strive for the dreams and goals that you had for this family and for each of us in particular, and may we never forget just how lucky and blessed we truly are!

So, on this 9th day of December, a day that for this family holds such bittersweet meaning, I challenge us all to honor the memory of our loved ones, by doing something that would 've made them smile, by being an example of love to others, or even by just celebrating traditions that they taught you....turn your sadness into an attitude of gratefulness for their life and for yours!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Congratulations Dave!!

We want to send out our congratulations to Dave Mc Entarffer, (aka Tio Dave), on his graduation from the Fire Training Academy this weekend! We are so proud of all your hard work, and we know that you have a great career ahead of you!! Congrats!!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Updates are here...

We have begun to publish the posts from the past 2 months, they will be all up by Saturday night. They go in order of the date they happened, so you may need to scroll backwards down the blog to see them. We try and keep the blog in chronological order, it's easier for us that way. Happy reading!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

We're back!!!!!

A big "THANK YOU", to the best brother-in-law, Rich, who took time out of his busy schedule to come and fix our sad, broken computer, while he was here in L.A. for business. Thank you so much, for spending all those hours fixing the fan and updating the software...and all that other stuff, it was so wonderful of you, we could never thank you enough!
So now that we're back up and running again, expect to see new updates real soon, and hopefully we'll be all caught up by the end of the weekend or so...at least that's the plan!
Related Posts with Thumbnails

Our Family Update--2007-2008

Since it may have been awhile since we've had contact with some of you, we thought that we'd give a brief update on the last 16 months or so--Jan 2007-April 2008.
Jan 2007-New Year, a time of renewal and joy-1 year and 1 month since Grandma Sadie had passed.
Feb 2007-A month filled with love!
March 2007-Scott and his fiancee, Sarah find out that thebaby they are expecting is a boy!!
April 2007-Joe turned 63!! Scott and Sarah take the family up on the offer to come and live back home for a year or two, in order to save for a house!
May 2007-Mary turns 59! We began a slight remodel in order to make room for the happy family!
June 2007-Sarah has a babyshower given by Melissa. The house re-do is almost complete.
July 2007-4th of July, Sarah complains of bad cramping--braxton hicks, Scott and Sarah move in.
JULY 27TH--LITTLE JACOB THOMAS HUCKEBA IS BORN!
7.2 lbs, 21 inches long, at 1:44 pm@ Presbyterian Hospital in Whittier.
JT, is born with jaundice, but is sent home with bili lights...the next day we are told to rush to the ER his blood levels are deathly high, he is admitted to the NICU, they prepare us all for the worst! JT may not make it, he may be brain damaged, they want to do a massive double blood transfussion...they are searching for blood...10 days later, he is released, doing much better and thriving wonderfully!! God answers prayers, everyone is amazed!!
August 2007-JT comes home from the NICU!!
September 2007-Sarah turns 27. Mary begins to feel tired and weak, we begin doctor's visits to find out why!
Oct 2007-Scott turns 26. They have found some enlarged lymph nodes in Mary's abdomen, she is admitted to the hospital for tests...she is getting weaker.
Nov 2007-1st Thanksgiving with JT. Mary is still ill, but still tries to remain hopeful, it looks like some kind of cancer, but all the tests come back inconclusive! Still, little JT is the delight of his Grandma Mary's life!!2 more hospital visits, and a trip to a Pasasena Oncologist to determine if it's some kind of gynecological cancer...good news, it's not, but we are still uncertain of what type of lymphoma this may be!
Dec 2007--Back and forth to specialists...still no answer, Mary is all but bed-bound, we work tirelessly to find some explanantion for all this..we pray constantly for peace and understanding.Dec 19th, Melissa turns 3o, we celebrate with cake in bed with Mary.
Dec 21st--Today is a big day, we are to get some tests to figure out what is going on. Joe and Melissa drive with Mary to Pasadena, but while getting ready in the bathroom at the testing center, Mary passes out...the paramedics are called, she is transported across the street to Huntington Memorial Hospital...they prepare us for the worst, she has been vomiting blood in the ER. We call all the family together..we are devastated...we wait on word...they put her on a ventilator and move her to CCU...it's a strange world up there, monitors and machines...we are frightened..we stay until 1am, they tell us to go home and rest for the long day ahead tomorrow...they are going to try and extubate...this will tell us how weak or strong her body is.
Dec 22--They take out the tube she is wide awake...says she felt like Alice in Wonderland...like the Rabbit popping up out of the hole!! We are happy she is starting to stabilize...the doctors are amazed! More tests...her blood is still behaving badly, as it had all the times before...they are puzzled..calling specialists from City of Hope!
Dec 23-25-We spend the holidays at the hospital...all the family is here...Aunt Ruby flew in from Tampa...we take turns spending the night. She feels bad that she "ruined" Christmas, we tell her she didn't, we just want to be with her! More tests, they want to do a biopsy, but they must get the blood count high enough...more blood is given...
The next few days all blur together, but finally they get the blood up enough to do the biopsy...death is a real possibilty, we move forward, she wants to know what is going on inside! We brace ourselves for the surgery...they call from the OR, she is doing better than expected...no bleeding, they got the sample they need, an answer will come soon! Early the next morning Melissa and cousin Marissa are with Mary, a seizure begins...we summon for help, it stops, they get a CT, no brain bleed visible...they are concerned about the sudden seizure...everyone rushed to the hospital about 4 am.
We are told they can't do anything else, since they still don't know what's going on, and even if they did know she is too weak for treatment, and the kidneys have begun to go...we have a decision, lots of tests and pain and suffering, or to let God take care of her..we opt for peace and no pain..she hates pain! She is in and out of it...we are all there, we talk to her and sing to her...they move us out of CCU, to the hospice wing... it's a round the clock vigil, they give her meds for pain, she has none, and she is just peacefully sleeping....it take days...we 2nd guess our aproach, it's just our pain talking though, we know that this is the best for her, and it's what she would have wanted...we wait...
New Year's Eve 2007- we spend it in the hospice wing, she is sleeping, I think to myself about how much she loves the Rose Parade...we are a mere 2 blocks from the parade site...she hangs on...we take turns getting a few hours of sleep...
Jan 1st 2008--At 5:51 am, we are there when Mary leaves this world and enters into the presence of God...I imagine Jesus saying to her, Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter now in to the joy of the Lord!! We are inconsolable...our angel here on Earth has left us and we are lost...but we have hope in Jesus!! We take care of all the hospital stuff and leave the hospital...there is much to do...we drive past the parade route...I think to myself, she has the best seat in the house now!
Jan 2008--We have a rosary for Mary, and the funeral the next day...it was raining...but stopped that morning to give us beautiful sunshine, and a rainbow.....Mary is buried at Rose Hills in Whittier, Ca.
Jan 2008- The rest of Januray finds us all trying to come to terms with all of this, Joe has taken time off work, Sarah has resigned from work to be a full-time stay-at-home mom, Mary was going to care for JT, but that was not to be...Scott has gone back to work, but is still terribly sad...Melissa, who left her full-time job, to get a part-time job in order to help care for Mary, is beside herself with grief...only the love and smiles of her baby nephew fill the void. Mary's mom and family try to find a way to come to terms with all of this...we lean on God for support and comfort.
Feb 2008-Scott leaves Downey Savings after 7 years...while between jobs he stays at home with Sarah and JT , the family bonds!!
March 2008--Scott begins a job with Interbusiness bank, an international bank, he work in Alhambra.
April 2008--Joe turns 64!! We are spending our time bonding as a family and watching little JT grow and change each day!!
That's the sum up, until now...lots has happened, but our faith in God and family has sustained us along this weary road.
We hope that you will continue to check in with us and see where this year 2008 leads us!!
Below you will find some pictures to show you a few highlights of the past year!!

Jacob Thomas Huckeba is born!!

Jacob Thomas Huckeba is born!!

Mommy(Sarah) and baby JT

Mommy(Sarah) and baby JT

Daddy (Scott) and baby JT

Daddy (Scott) and baby JT

Grandma (Mary) and little JT

Grandma (Mary) and little JT

Grammie(Sarah's mom, Kathy) and JT

Grammie(Sarah's mom, Kathy) and JT

Auntie Mel and JT

Auntie Mel and JT